The university I attended was not my choice…or it was…but it was a difficult “I want but I don’t want” choice. I still remember the day I went to sign up, not knowing what it was I wanted to major in. I even remember orientation day, where I’d meet one of my best friends. I didn’t know it then, but I’m sure of it now. That’s the thing…you learn things along the way you never thought you would. Here are the bits I learned…and would have liked to tell my few-years-ago self.
You’ll see the beauty of your campus just like the girl who is to be your best friend in the years to come commented on on orientation day. You’ll hate it, but on quiet days, you’ll love it and even get a sense of nostalgia.
No one will understand the choices you make. No one. Except like two people. And that’s okay. You don’t have explain anything as long as you know why.
You’re going to be so nervous in those Arabic classes you take. You’re going to feel left out, even though you know the language. But you’re going to get comfortable speaking Arabic…even your Falahi Arabic.
You’re going to make good friends. These are the friends that are going to remind you to keep going and to keep it real. They are the group you look forward to seeing after your classes, even though you vowed to not make any friends when you started college. You’re going to have good moments, bad moments, inside jokes, tears and sadness, and lots of good laughs. You’re going to thank God.
You’re going to regret your decisions when you’re having a bad day. Remember that it is just because you are having a bad day.
Boys…If they don’t support you, if they think you’re “too strong” or “too outgoing” or “too opinionated”, walk away like #byeFelicia.
You’re going to hear about students going to prison and even being killed. Even if you don’t know them personally, their faces will come to mind every now and then.
You’ll hear this extremely, painfully loud silence as the body of a fellow student is off to be buried. You’ll remember it always.
There’s nothing to lose with tiny acts of kindness.
Some professors will encourage you, and they’ll never know they had such an impact.
You’ll eventually make a promise to yourself that you’ll never turn down opportunities out of fear of being not good enough or fear of change. And you’ll always silently pray to the person who got you to this point.
Anxiety attacks? A lot of them. Tears and tissues? Lots of them. Depression? it happens. You eventually get through them.
Your mother is your number one fan.
You’ll find yourself saving horrible photos of yourself because the memories were so good.
You’ll start a blog. You’ll get writing opportunities you did not see coming. And those that know how much writing means to you will be happy for you…happier than you, even.
You’re not going to know what you want out of life…a lot of times. And you’re going to remember one of your professors when she once said, “It’s okay to not know what you want to do.”
You are going to learn so much about yourself. You’re going to cross that finish line and realized how much you have grown as a person. And you’re going to realize it even more when people around you start noticing.
You’re not going to give a crap about what people think when you go get that diploma, and you’re going to dance.
That extra year you were worried about? You’re going to be thankful it happened.
So, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll come across other things I have learned on my rather tiny journey. I’ll look back at this post one day and add things or even remind myself of these things.
For now, ladies and gents, I’m ready to take on what’s next. At least I think I am.